Ok, you all know how much I love, and need, having a full D/s lifestyle, and a full rubber lifestyle. Yes, I’m a lesbian rubber slut. A photographer. A creative professional. A housewife when needed, and a wife to my Mistress and loved one.

Don’t read too much into this.

We have been working towards improving our lifestyle, and adding more and more rubber to our daily lives. She has always been reserved towards taking play photos, which I guess makes a lot of people wonder we have zero lifestyle, or we’re not players at all ( because, everyone is into taking tons of photos to rub on everyone’s faces ). In this little internet community, you don’t even get respected as a fellow fetishist, unless you have play, and party photos to share.

Anyway, it all started really when I was offered to write a story for Secret Magazine, which I was offered by Anna Rose, and loved doing it. I was swamped with food photography work, and also hogged down by a Chef who can’t seem to understand the very basics of “no means no”. So, not to burn down business bridges, I did a photoshoot I didn’t want to, nor liked the result. So, my stress level was quite high, but still, I managed to write something from my heat, and I really really enjoyed writing it, and the chance to do so.

Writing also wasn’t easy, because I was there, trying to portray something which is a dream for me, and make it seem like it’s reality for Anna. And regardless of it’s her reality or not ( if it is, it only makes things harder for me ), it’s my desired reality. A normal, loving life, with no need for excuses or planning for having a really great rubber weekend. I asked Mistress to proofread, and her response to the scenes and situations was just odd for someone who did say she loves me in latex, more than once. She didn’t understand why wearing a hood at all, or why a vacuum bed would be pleasureful.

I was really sad that day, many would remember I made a few odd remarks on Twitter, but no big deal. I just washed it away as some things I would still need to work in our relationship, and stop being so down, and work towards what I want. Besides, if I’m not happy with my current life, I’m the only one to blame for it.

Later that week, she asked me twice why I didn’t wear that catsuit more often, to which I answered the second time, because she never asks me to. So, last tuesday she asked me to, and wow, I was happy. Just the catsuit to spend the day in rubber for her. I was really hoping she would come up with more stuff, adding more and more rubber as the day went on. But no, I was left alone, to take a pretty much normal day in rubber.

I should have seen the signs and taken off that suit. You know, I gave away my torpedo tit suit. Just because twice, she commented how gross the inflatable tits were, and that she loved to fondle my own, real breasts, and torment me. That, if she pinched my nipple I would feel it. So, I gave it away and never did regret it.

This time, later down the day, she asked me to come to her, and she just unzipped the bottom, and from a safe distance, buzzed the vibrator against my clit until I “came”. Yeah, it wasn’t a really good orgasm, almost no orgasm at all. I didn’t feel owned, or dominated, or taken. I need D/s. I do need it. And she just manipulated me till I had an orgasm, and that’s it. Just for the obligation of having me walk around in rubber all day, so it wouldn’t be for nothing. I moved to kiss her, still sweaty from the catsuit, my hands going for her pussy, she pushed me away, while moving her face away. She told me I could have her, after I showered. I felt… there are no words to describe it. She did feel and look disgusted by me in a simple summer catsuit.

We talked, and she told me how much rubber disgusts her. That the slimey texture my skin gets after I sweat in it, is truly disgusting. That, and a number of other things.

So, I’m looking forward to a life without any rubber.

Since then, I’ve been telling myself that it will change in the future. That she will come around to understanding what’s so sexy about it, and how she could take full advantage of it D/s wise. To control me. To abuse me. To have a real slave at her service. I keep telling myself all this. Because I love her. And I’d trade my fetish for her any day. And in the end, that’s what’s going on. I’m not just saying it, because it’s what is really happening. I don’t want anyone else, I don’t see myself with anyone else.

So, that’s it in a short. I am still in grief, still confused, still in pain. Still not knowing where to go from now. The only thing for sure, is that I love this woman. And I am her slave. And sometimes, slavery, true sexual slavery, means giving up what I want, my needs and desires, for hers, so she is truly happy. Several close friends have been greatly supportive, and I don’t want to sound like a victim here. This is really a short version of everything. But she’s my loved one, my wife, my Mistress.

But, my main fetish is just gone for a while, not sure for how long, not sure if I’ll ever be able to enjoy it.

I just think it will be easier for me to avoid all this for a while. And not have people telling me about being suspended in bondage while in inflatable rubber, while I can’t have that, or even the hope of having that someday.

Hope you enjoyed the story. And understand why I’m distancing myself for a while. For how long? I have no idea. But you have my main contact Email in case you need to reach me, and my other non-latex Yahoo Messenger.

Kisses,

Jessica

Ok, this is a step by step procedure on how I hacked my Israeli mask to try to enable rebreathing on it ( why have a gasmask just for the looks? ) Hope it helps

So, I’m taking part on the Erotica Fair art exhibit, and I had to cut down to 3 pieces, because the prints would be outrageously expensive for my savings right now. With that in mind, I’m adding these pieces: